Anxiety Logs Prepare Teens Well for Mindfulness Techniques.

images-1Like many others, I too believe that teens with anxiety benefit from mindfulness techniques;  however, I find that before a teen can practice mindfulness techniques, they first need to identify the anxiety in a tangible way. I believe the best way to do this is through what I call an anxiety log.  This is simply a journal or notebook that a teen can write in about their weekly experiences with anxiety.

  1. Step One- I encourage my clients to keep a notebook or journal and write down every time they feel anxious (date and time) for two weeks.  This way we can first determine “how frequently” their anxiety occurs.  It’s a great starting point for them to take control of the anxiety, name it and have a direct response to its occurrence.  It also serves as a good marker to understand the “typical” amount of anxiety a particular teens feels/experiences in any given week.
  2. Step Two- I have my clients tell me in detail about the anxiety they wrote down in their log. This way the anxiety is no longer some secretive scary thing, it’s something we openly talk about together in a safe space. We continue this for a few weeks.
  3. Step Three- I have my clients continue with the log, but at this point (along w date/time) they write down what is happening WHEN the anxiety occurs. (Such as: where they were, who was there, time of day, etc.) This starts to take the power away from the anxiety.  Instead of freezing in panic, heart pounding, palms sweating during the next anxiety attack, they start to direct their focus to the details around the attack for the log. I find that teens will go back after an anxiety attack and write volumes about the situation/experience. This (called journaling) in and of itself is a powerful tool for empowerment and healing.
  4. Step Four- Along with the above steps, I now have THEM rank the attacks on a scale of (1-10) so we can better understand, which were the worst and which were the easier attacks to get through.  At this point, they are painting a very full and clear picture of their anxiety.

After a few months of meetings, we now have enough data to look at patterns in the anxiety as well as their triggers. I can ask questions such as: “What do you think the attacks have in common?”  Or, “Why do you think the attacks are only at night?  This way they are an active participant in putting the puzzle together around their own anxiety.  So the next time they have an attack they will start to think…… “Why is this happening right now?  What just triggered the anxiety? Have I seen this pattern before?”

Sometimes, just bringing awareness to the anxiety can cut down the frequency of the attacks.  Once teens are comfortable thinking about their anxiety in this way, writing about it and talking about it openly, we can then approach mindfulness through coping skills and relaxation techniques.

I always tell teens that tackling anxiety takes preparation.  Would you go into a math exam without studying? OR… Would you go into a tennis match without practice? The same goes for taking on anxiety.  You have to be prepared. The log helps prepare them well before applying any mindfulness techniques.

Girl Talk: Interview with Author Dr. Carol Langlois About her new Book for Teen Girls.

6V0TMg_Q5vjyDX905DSgR6lLNxBXApclLF8qhPSQxvQYour Teen Magazine Interview

We’ve loved Dr. Carol Langlois’s advice for Your Teen readers over the years, so we were excited to hear about her new book, Girl Talk: Boys, Bullies & Body Image. We caught up with Dr. Carol to find out more.

Tell us about the approach you took with this book?

In total, I interviewed (and taped) about 160 girls from 10 schools in the Bay Area. After sharing my taped interviews with a few other writers and editors, they suggested that sharing (their stories) from a first person perspective would be very powerful. In the end, I chose 10 stories of ten girls who’s challenges with self-esteem were relatable and transcended culture, race, and socio-economics.

What’s going well for girls these days? 

I would say that their access to and utilization of information is abundant. They can educate themselves on so many topics more easily today. If they want to learn about puberty, smoking, pregnancy, healthy eating, etc.—they can. They know the risks and the pro and cons of most things to make better informed decisions. Many teens today have strong opinions about drugs and alcohol, the environment, or global warming for example because of information from the web. This is incredibly beneficial in helping them make smart choices.

But many are struggling? 

For the book, I interviewed quite a few girls who were dealing with or had survived through some form of an eating disorder, which I think is worth noting. More abundantly were issues of perfection and anxiety—not necessarily unrelated to eating disorders.

Stop the critical self-talk. Instead, model positive self-acceptance around girls.

Teens are stressed out more than ever. I call this  the “duck syndrome.” Think about the duck who looks very serene, calm, and pleasant floating along a lake. Then, if you look under the water she is paddling frantically. That is the duck syndrome. Too many students on the outside appear calm, cool, and collected while on the inside they are completely stressed out. Its a “fake it ’til you make it” mentality. For many, they want to be the great student, the great athlete, and well-liked by peers. But what price do they pay? Proving you can do it all has transformed into an ugly state of unattainable expectations and extremes, which are unhealthy for teens at any age. I’ve seen this further progress into eating disorders for the perfect body and drug addictions to manage the high pace and stress. This is a recipe for disaster.

– See more of this interview here.

10 Things Teens Should Know Before High School

10 things teens should know before high school 

1) Everyone is nervous going to high school- everyone!  Don’t think you are the only one freaking out, because you aren’t.  Some people are just better at hiding it.  You are not alone, so remember that.

2) Take a chance early on… that way taking additional risks later won’t seem so big. It’s kind of like jumping into a cold pool. It’s a bit scary, but once it’s over, you like it and wonder why you were so nervous in the first place.  You will comfortably take more chances after that.

3) The longer you wait to do something…the harder it is to do. Procrastination is not your friend. It will hold you back from amazing opportunities, experiences, conversations, people, etc.  Don’t let it!

4) Talk to your parents.. don’t drift away.  Some teens get distant from their parents in HS.  However, trust me, this is the time that you really need them.  Find time to talk with them every day, even if only for a few minutes.

5) Get involved in HS- it goes by fast. It’s easier to stay involved in high school activities if you get involved freshman year. So, join a sport, student council, theatre or the newspaper right away.  You will thank me.

6) Pick friends that have your back. It’s ok to walk away from unhealthy people you knew in middle school. Chances are your high school class will be pretty big compared to your 8th grade class. Meet everyone and make new friends based on shared interests, likes and values.

7)  Every day is a new opportunity to re-invent yourself. This is a perfect time. Why? Because everyone else is doing the same thing!  Don’t let others define you. Find new interests, change your attitude and explore new things.

8) Clothes, electronics, make-up and music don’t make you cool. Confidence trumps all those things.  Drop the labels, products and latest apps. These things don’t make you interesting or likable. Show people who you are, have an opinion and make decisions for yourself.  People will respect you and your confidence.

9) Stay away from drama- don’t get involved.  High school drama is the worst and it’s everywhere. Don’t gossip- it will come back to bite you.  Don’t tweet, post, say or share inappropriate things. You will be labeled very quickly as a mean girl/a gossip and this label can be hard to shake.

10) Don’t do anything you don’t want to do.  If you stand up for yourself, say no, or walk away from the first bad situation freshman year, people will take notice. That way peer pressure will not follow you for the next 3 years. Instead, you will attract like minded friends.