Adaptability is the key for healthy teen self-esteem.
Adaptability has everything to do with being prepared for whatever life presents you with each and every day. For many of us we get caught up in daily routines. Daily routines provide comfort which is fine; however, when something changes in that routine for many teens it can be hard to handle. Once this occurs, they can feel disjointed, even depressed. Because of that one curveball, the rest of their day can seem ruined. This doesn’t have to happen. Be ready for whatever comes your way. Adapt to the change. How do you do this?
- By taking up different interests and different activities. Keep trying new things; and meet new people. Move beyond your comfort zone as often as possible.
- The teens I see with the best adaptability skills tend to have one thing in common. They work part-time or volunteer on a consistent basis. Why does this work? Because, you have to be ready for whatever comes your way when you work or volunteer. You get thrown multiple curve balls at the same time. You have to be responsible, on time, take directions well and execute. One day you may be answering the phones, another day you may be working on a computer screen while other days you may be interacting with customers. The unknown is good for you. You will be nervous in the beginning, but with time you build comfort in the process. This in turn builds confidence and self-esteem.
- Interacting with other adults and peers that aren’t your family, neighbors, friends, teammates or teachers tests your comfort zone and prepares you to become a stronger communicator down the road.
- Don’t stick to the same routine, challenge yourself and learn to roll with the punches. That way your whole day can’t be ruined by one problem or obstacle in your way. You get past it, adapt and move on.
Most teens don’t want to tell, worry or burden their parents when they are bullied, so they keep it inside. You should tell your parents every time and any time you feel you are the victim of bullying. Just because you can “handle” the bullying situation, doesn’t mean you should have to. I know it may seem scary, but you have to tell an adult. If not a parent, then maybe a teacher you trust. How do you bring it up? Sometimes that can be the hardest part. Find a time when you have your parents’ full attention. Maybe this is while you are driving in the car with them, eating dinner, or taking a long walk. Think about what to say beforehand so when you tell them you won’t get too nervous and forget everything. If you aren’t sure how to start the conversation, say: “I need to tell you something that I’m nervous about and it’s important.” I guarantee your parents will pay close attention. It’s OK if you get upset while telling them. If you want to tell a teacher instead, that’s OK too. Maybe after school when the rest of your class is gone you can ask to speak with them. Again, practice what you want to say. If it helps to bring a friend along for support, that’s OK too.
I can’t stress this enough, don’t avoid the issue for too long. This can lead to you minimizing the severity of the situation and adapting to the poor treatment. Some teens build a defense mechanism around the issue to avoid it. They pretend that it isn’t actually happening. Does pretending really help? No. The bully will continue. Remember, avoiding any situation doesn’t help. Stand up for yourself when dealing with a bully. Protect yourself; demand that the bullying stop. Say something early on. Don’t “accept” it. That’s not a healthy way to cope!
Now if your friend is the one being bullied, what can you do? Well, a lot of things. You can tell your friend that you are there for him or her. If the bully isn’t violent, you can confront the bully together. Show the bully you aren’t taking it anymore. Or, maybe if your friend is just too scared by the bully, you can tell a teacher on his or her behalf. Some teens just don’t know what to do. Be a good friend and do something.
Bottom line— Tell a parent or tell a teacher, but don’t let it continue.
Mothers and the Frustration of Teenage Motivation
Guest blog by Rebecca Temsen
Raising a teenager can be quite a frustrating experience for any mother. Teens can often be extremely rebellious. It can be hard for parents to provide them with proper direction. Teens often don’t want to listen to anything their parents have to say. They tend to be more partial to the thoughts and opinions of their peers. If you’re a concerned mother who wants to motivate your child to do great things in this world, these tips may be able to guide a path for you. Strong personal development for kids is invaluable in this day and age. Parents should always work hard to encourage positive thinking for kids.
- Give Your Teenager an Incentive
Teenagers are just like other normal human beings. They work better when they have clear and defined incentives. That makes a lot of sense, too. If you want to motivate your teen to do well, you have to help him understand what he may get out of it. Teenagers don’t usually feel compelled to do things that don’t have any desirable outcomes. It doesn’t matter if you want to encourage your teen to study harder at school or if you want to encourage him to work harder at a specific hobby. You should make the potential positive outcome abundantly clear. It can’t hurt to help the cause if at all possible, either. If you want your teen to do well on an upcoming science test, tell him that you’ll let him go on a weekend trip with his closest friends. Human beings tend to thrive when they have exciting incentives dangling in front of them.
- Challenge Your Teenager
It’s no mystery that teens love incentives. It’s also no mystery, however, that they’re often up for good challenges. Failure doesn’t intimidate them as much as they do to adults. Teens often lack motivation due to boredom. If a teen doesn’t feel like doing anything, it may be simply because she doesn’t sense any type of challenge. If you want to motivate your teenager to excel in her studies, make a bet with her. Tell her that you don’t think she can do better than the rest of her friends. That statement may just encourage her to get busy reading her textbooks. Teenagers don’t like feeling “stupid.” They don’t like feeling like they’re predictable, either.
- Discuss the Future
If a teen doesn’t have any motivation, it could be because he doesn’t link his current actions to the future. If you’re a mother who wants your teen to take the direction of his life seriously, discuss the future with him. Make sure he understands that his actions at the moment directly influence what happens next in his life. That insight may be enough to get him thinking and active.
So there you have it. Those are 3 simple yet very effective ways you can motivate your teenage kid. Keep in mind that most of what a teenager learns will help form them as adults. So it is your responsibility to get the best out of your child!
Rebecca Temsen is an author, entrepreneur and most of all a wife and mother of 2. What she enjoys the most is helping normal people reach their full potential. Rebecca uses her ever growing skills in writing to inspire people and not settle for a normal life. As an entrepreneur, she has no shortage of failures and that is why Rebecca is the ideal person to talk about this. http://www.selfdevelopmentsecrets.com