How to RAISE Our Teen Girls to Become Empowered Women- Podcast

Join Linda Patten and me, as we explore the teen self-esteem space, my RAISE system, and how my book has been adapted to the stage.

*Low self-esteem, poor body image, lack of self-respect, being bullied and bullying – all disempowering conditions for girls to battle in their adolescence. “Dr. Carol” shares her expertise in and passion for helping women and girls overcome some of the issues that hold them back from excelling confidently. We women all have a stake in learning from Dr. Carol how to support these girls become our future empowered women leaders!

https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/107380/how-to-raise-our-teen-girls-to-become-empowered-women

 

 

How to Tell Your Parents- You’re Being Bullied

Most teens don’imagest want to tell, worry or burden their parents when they are bullied, so they keep it inside. You should tell your parents every time and any time you feel you are the victim of bullying. Just because you can “handle” the bullying situation, doesn’t mean you should have to. I know it may seem scary, but you have to tell an adult. If not a parent, then maybe a teacher you trust. How do you bring it up? Sometimes that can be the hardest part. Find a time when you have your parents’ full attention. Maybe this is while you are driving in the car with them, eating dinner, or taking a long walk. Think about what to say beforehand so when you tell them you won’t get too nervous and forget everything. If you aren’t sure how to start the conversation, say: “I need to tell you something that I’m nervous about and it’s important.” I guarantee your parents will pay close attention. It’s OK if you get upset while telling them. If you want to tell a teacher instead, that’s OK too. Maybe after school when the rest of your class is gone you can ask to speak with them. Again, practice what you want to say. If it helps to bring a friend along for support, that’s OK too.

I can’t stress this enough, don’t avoid the issue for too long. This can lead to you minimizing the severity of the situation and adapting to the poor treatment. Some teens build a defense mechanism around the issue to avoid it. They pretend that it isn’t actually happening. Does pretending really help? No. The bully will continue. Remember, avoiding any situation doesn’t help. Stand up for yourself when dealing with a bully.  Protect yourself; demand that the bullying stop. Say something early on. Don’t “accept” it. That’s not a healthy way to cope!

Now if your friend is the one being bullied, what can you do? Well, a lot of things. You can tell your friend that you are there for him or her. If the bully isn’t violent, you can confront the bully together. Show the bully you aren’t taking it anymore. Or, maybe if your friend is just too scared by the bully, you can tell a teacher on his or her behalf. Some teens just don’t know what to do. Be a good friend and do something.

Bottom line— Tell a parent or tell a teacher, but don’t let it continue.

What is Confidence Coaching?

Confidence coaching is a one-on-one service I provide for teen girl between the ages 13-17. It’s designed to provide them (with the tools ) to healthier self-esteem.

Through a series of session, we discuss letting go of negative inner thoughts, anxieties and self-sabotage.  We practice techniques & exercises, discuss tough topics, and confront issues together.  I push them past their comfort zone and lead them ultimately to a stronger sense of self.

By using my system called RAISE (Resilience, Attitude, Independence, Self-respect and Empowerment), we explore, discover and in some cases uncover, each girl’s inner voice. Based on each girl’s unique story, we tailor a plan for her incorporating the following components of the RAISE system as they relate to her story (life.)

R- Resilience is building a strong protectice shield around yourself. We practice resiliency exercises to help build a tough shell. We disccuss how perfectionism is unrealistic, unhealthy and unattainable. You learn to set attainable and healthy goals. (Don’t sweat the small stuff.)

A- Attitude is the lens though which you see the world;  your orientation to the world. Is your glass have empty or half full?   Through simple adjustments and exercises, we can change our attitude.  Adaptability is the key here. Learning to roll with change is a huge factor affecting our attitude.

I- independence is the ability to make your own choices instead of blindly following the crowd. The way you become independent is by taking on challenges, big or small. Pushing yourself further than you thought you could go and realizing what you are made of.

S- Self-respect is about learning to put yourself first. It’s about not easily being swayed into uncomfortable situations and rarely feeling peer pressure. Having a strong group of friends is powerful. Who we surround ourself with is important. You will begin to evaluate friendships and take steps to confront the unhealthy ones in your life.

E- Empowerment is about feeling strong in your decisions, opinions, and individuality. In many ways, empowerment can be the culmination of the other 4 concepts when integrated successfully into your life. Your confidence will blossom and ultimately – regardless of success or failure – you will grow strong, trust in yourself, and look inward for approval.

For more information about confidence coaching in the SF bay area, email carol@dr-carol.com.