Safety Tips for Parents of New Teen Drivers

The following guest article is by CarParts.com

Watching your kid transition from a learner’s permit to a driver’s license may give you a feeling of deja vu, like a reboot of a John Hughes movie unfolding before your eyes. All the plot twists, conflicts, and resolutions you went through in getting your own license may be coming back to life in a coming-of-age tale starring your kid—the same kid whose diapers you used to change, whose first steps you watched while lining the way with pillows, and whose head you protected with a helmet when they were first learning how to ride a bike. Believe it or not, that kid is behind the wheel now, and your job isn’t to steer it from the side—it’s to guide them into making the right choices on their own. Remember that feeling of independence when you were finally able to drive yourself and your friends anywhere your hearts desired? Remember all the shenanigans you guys got up to? Understandably, that may be the very reason you’re terrified now.

Not to worry—your teen driver’s excitement is most likely balanced out with a healthy amount of fear, as it should be because getting behind the wheel for the first time is a great responsibility. Not only are they responsible for their (or your) vehicle, but they also have a responsibility to their passengers and others on the road. They know that safety is paramount, but in the excitement of the moment, they may forget the crucial basics they (already or will have) learned in driving school.
In this article, we’ll tackle everything you need to know as the parent (or
grandparent, aunt, uncle, or guardian) of a teen driving for the first time.

Help Your Teen Get through Driver’s Ed
Before your teen gets the opportunity to take the driver’s test, some states like California will require them to attend a driver’s education (or “driver’s ed”) class. Driver’s ed is specifically designed for new drivers. It will equip them with the know-how to legally obtain a driver’s license and understand the risks involved. These classes are offered in some local high schools as a school-sponsored program, but some are restricted by low budgets, which could affect the quality of instruction. As AAA spokesperson Tom Crosby said, “We are killing too many kids because they have not been taught correctly.” Research driver’s ed programs in your area and help the teen in your life choose the best one. Attending driver’s ed is essential, even if your state does not require it. It will help your teen learn the following skills to make them a great driver.

For more from this article, go to https://www.carparts.com/blog/teen-drivers-safety-guide/

7 Hacks to Help Your Teen Jumpstart Their Day

Guess blog by Cloe Matheson

Getting teenagers up and going in the morning is a little like rousing the dead. But it’s not all their fault: there’s a scientific reason why adolescence goes hand-in-hand with an aversion to mornings. Pubertal hormones can seriously mess up the body clock – so don’t begrudge your teenage son or daughter too much for their morning laziness!


Since even science can’t get schools to delay their bells an hour or two, though, it’s necessary to have some tricks up your sleeve for helping your teen kickstart their day. Give the following hacks a try, and you’ll have made a morning person of your young ‘un in no time.

1. Have some music or a podcast at hand

Teens love music and other forms of digital media – and if they know that their parents are cool enough to be on board with the things that they like, they’ll be all the keener to jump out of bed. Get a speaker for the kitchen so that your kids can plug in their devices and sing along during breakfast, or put on an interesting podcast in the car as a before-school tradition. You might even buy your teen an alarm clock which wakes them up with some catchy tunes rather than a blearing “beep” noise.


2. Get them moving 

No teen is going to respond positively to the idea of running a lap as soon as they open their eyes, but a little bit of parental encouragement towards implementing a little physical activity into their morning routine is never a bad idea. Chances are that your teen – like the rest of us – dreads the thought of exercise, but finds the act of it incredibly refreshing and worthwhile. Getting active in the morning, in particular, has unbeatable benefits for our bodies and minds. Whether they join a sports group that holds practice in the mornings, or they tag along with you as you go to yoga or spinning class, getting teens moving early is a sure-fire way to set them up well for the day to come.


3. Look for fun, digital learning material

Like just about any other person who owns a smartphone, many teenagers can spend hours browsing social media and news feeds such as Reddit and Facebook. As well as being entertaining, however, YouTube and similar platforms also contain gargantuan amounts of educational content. If you find your teen absent-mindedly playing with their phone during breakfast time, encourage them to check out a short video from a channel such as Vsauce or MinuteEarth for some bite-sized knowledge to chew on during the walk or ride to school.


4. Urge them to get some rays 

The kind of naturally-sourced Vitamin D that comes from sunshine is important for all kinds of reasons: at the most basic level, though, it just makes us happy, for some instinctive reason that no amount of research can account for. For teens who feel as if they’re interred in dim classrooms all day, getting even twenty minutes of time outside on a sunny day can enhance their mood significantly. Go out and join them, if there’s no objection, and you can bathe in the golden warmth together.


5. Institute a night-before-school routine

For teenagers, the morning can often seem like a couple of hours’ worth of boring chores, preceding a whole day’s worth of boring classes. What you need to help your teen realize is that the morning and evening are the times they have off – and what’ll make this ring true is removing as many of the perceived “chores” as possible from the morning agenda.If your teen has a uniform, for example, they might lay it out and do any cleaning the night before, so that getting changed in the morning is easy. They might prep their breakfast the night before, too (overnight oats are a favorite in many households). Ticking off these tasks the night before means that can dedicate more time to chilling out and doing something that they really enjoy in the morning, whether that be exercise (as above), reading, or meeting up with their friends before school to have a smoothie.


6. Encourage healthy sleeping habits 

Teenagers are growing rapidly – physically and emotionally – and they truly need all the sleep they can get. Getting up early is often a challenge for them, regardless of how long they’ve slept for. However, it’s best to make sure teens get at least 8 hours of sleep; enough to allow their body to rest and recuperate, and their minds to be refreshed enough to tackle the next day’s tasks. If your teen has trouble going to sleep, they could try listening to some soothing, soft music. Some teens also find it easier to nod off when they hear white noise or gentle, natural sounds such as crackling fireplaces, rainfall, thunderstorms, or ocean waves. Your teen could set up a Bluetooth speaker on low volume, connected to a playlist. Most phones come with a timer function that stops playing after a set time – say, 18 minutes – just after your teen has happily drifted off. 

7. Deal with stress 

Teens very often face seemingly overwhelming studies and homework, peer expectations, challenging work customers, and many other new issues that come with growing up. Add errands and chores to this – and you have a perfect recipe for teens to keep hitting the snooze button. Try not to give advice unless your teen specifically asks you for it, but do mention what problems you are going through, how you are dealing with them, and encourage them to face theirs. Always reassure them that you love and support them, and let them know that you believe in their ability to be smart and strong. When a teen knows they have a supportive family and is confident that they can take on each day, they’ll be more excited to get up and get started.

Author’s note: Check out more of Cloe’s work here.


Overcoming Overwhelm: Supporting the Future of Our Youth. Wed, April 11, 2018.

 

teengirlFusion Academy and Mercy High School present “Overcoming Overwhelm: Supporting the Future of Our Youth,” a panel discussion with mental health and education professionals.

RSVP: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/fusionmercy-overcoming-overwhe…

Join psychotherapists and authors Lee Daniel Kravetz, LMFT (Strange Contagion and SuperSurvivors) and Carol Langlois, Ph.D. (Girl Talk: Boys, Bullies and Body Image) and Mary Hofstedt, Ed.M., Community Education Director, Challenge Success, as they question and identify the actions that individuals and communities must take to recognize and support the future of our youth.

Event Schedule

6:00pm – 6:30pm l Arrival/Check-In

6:30pm – 8:00pm l Program

Please plan to arrive early for best parking and seating. Program will begin promptly at 6:30pm.

Tickets are free, but seating is limited! Register today.

Questions? Contact Shannon LeCompte, Dean of Students, Mercy High School, slecompte@mercyhsb.com, or Victoria Veneziano, Director of Admissions and Outreach, Fusion Academy, vveneziano@fusionacademy.com.

Girl Talk: Teen Monologue Series Coming to SF Aug 24th

My play “Girl Talk” is in a playwright festival honoring female playwrights this summer teenage girl Sharing Secret With Friend In Parkin SF.

Young actors perform powerful teen stories about real life struggles, peer pressure, anxieties and how they survived.  Dr. Carol Langlois created this play version of her acclaimed book, Girl Talk: Boys, Bullies and Body Image. Teenagers and their parents are especially invited!

Information
Date: August 24th, 2017
Time: 7:30pm
Location: “Thick House” is now “Potrero Stage”

Tickets: FREE through the festival.Hope to see you August 24th!  Reserve your FREE tickets today! Click Here.

For more information about Dr. Carol & Girl Talk, click here.

How to Tell Your Parents- You’re Being Bullied

Most teens don’imagest want to tell, worry or burden their parents when they are bullied, so they keep it inside. You should tell your parents every time and any time you feel you are the victim of bullying. Just because you can “handle” the bullying situation, doesn’t mean you should have to. I know it may seem scary, but you have to tell an adult. If not a parent, then maybe a teacher you trust. How do you bring it up? Sometimes that can be the hardest part. Find a time when you have your parents’ full attention. Maybe this is while you are driving in the car with them, eating dinner, or taking a long walk. Think about what to say beforehand so when you tell them you won’t get too nervous and forget everything. If you aren’t sure how to start the conversation, say: “I need to tell you something that I’m nervous about and it’s important.” I guarantee your parents will pay close attention. It’s OK if you get upset while telling them. If you want to tell a teacher instead, that’s OK too. Maybe after school when the rest of your class is gone you can ask to speak with them. Again, practice what you want to say. If it helps to bring a friend along for support, that’s OK too.

I can’t stress this enough, don’t avoid the issue for too long. This can lead to you minimizing the severity of the situation and adapting to the poor treatment. Some teens build a defense mechanism around the issue to avoid it. They pretend that it isn’t actually happening. Does pretending really help? No. The bully will continue. Remember, avoiding any situation doesn’t help. Stand up for yourself when dealing with a bully.  Protect yourself; demand that the bullying stop. Say something early on. Don’t “accept” it. That’s not a healthy way to cope!

Now if your friend is the one being bullied, what can you do? Well, a lot of things. You can tell your friend that you are there for him or her. If the bully isn’t violent, you can confront the bully together. Show the bully you aren’t taking it anymore. Or, maybe if your friend is just too scared by the bully, you can tell a teacher on his or her behalf. Some teens just don’t know what to do. Be a good friend and do something.

Bottom line— Tell a parent or tell a teacher, but don’t let it continue.

Trade in the “Time-out” for Meditation and Reflection

I’m a firm believer in meditation and it’s many forms. When talking about children, imagesmeditation can simply be a moment of silence, deep breathing, or just lying still on a rug.  This can be the start for building a great mediation practice.

I think more schools should look toward meditation as a preventative method to deter negative behavior and deal with disciplinary issues. Meditation helps balance ones’ breathing which naturally calms the system. After meditating and opening their eyes, kids are more alert, rejuvenated and ready to get back to work.  Mediation teaches focus that can help kids through the rest of their school day. And if used as a form of disciple instead of detention, a child will emerge less aggressive and more reflective.

I think parents could utilize meditation in the home as well. Putting a child in “time-out” really doesn’t do much more than create frustration, boredom or anxiety.  Kids end up counting the seconds, simply waiting for the time out to be over and they can sometimes emerge from the “time-out” angrier than they went into it. They don’t learn from the experience.

A preventative method for parents would be to start the day with your child doing a short meditation practice in the morning. It will set the day off right and produce a more aware, calm and focused child.  Overtime, this may cut down the need for punishment (or the time-out) by creating a more self-aware, mindful and relaxed child.

Teaching Your Child To Learn From Failure: 4 Steps To Success

Guest blog by: Rebecca Temsen (http://www.selfdevelopmentsecrets.com)

The old adage holds true: We learn from our mistakes. Making mistakes is especially how childrenteengirl learn. Unfortunately, too many kids (and even some adults) have never learned the value of making a mistake. I plead guilty too.

Too many fail to realize successful people find new routes to their goals and they don’t let setbacks derail them. Succeeding ultimately depends on sticking with their efforts and not letting setbacks hold them down, especially with kids.

Here are some tips for helping children recognize that mistakes don’t necessarily mean failure but instead can be learning opportunities in disguise.

  1. Stress that it’s okay to make mistakes

The very first step is helping kids realize that mistakes aren’t the end of the world is to simply say, “It’s okay to make a mistake.” By giving kids permission to fail and helping them recognize that mistakes can be positive learning experiences, we are opening the door to success later in life. Let them know that even the most successful people makes mistakes. When is the last time you told your child, “It’s okay to make a mistake in our house?”

  1. Admit your own mistakes

Whether you know it or not, your child sees you as all-knowing and all-powerful. Obviously, grownups make mistakes, too, but too often we hide them from our children and spouses. Don’t let the ‘duck syndrome‘ take control of your life. Admit your errors to your kids. It helps them recognize that everyone, even Superhero Dad or Wonder Woman Mom, mess up sometimes — and that’s okay. Keep in mind, though, that they’re also watching to see how you handle failure. 

  1. Show acceptance for mistakes

Whenever your child goofs up, show your support with both your nonverbal reactions and your words. The fastest way your children will learn to toss the idea that mistakes are the most horrible thing in the world is to allow them to feel their parents’ accepting responses to their errors.

  1. Tell your children how you overcame the obstacle

When you make an error, tell your child not only your mistake but also what you learned from it. If, for example, your dinner menu was a failure, first admit the mistake to your family quickly before they tell you themselves, and then say what you learned from the mistake. Here’s what this would look like:

“I sure messed up this recipe. I learned that I should always read the whole recipe first before adding the broccoli.”

Did your children witness you running late for work? Here’s how that conversation might go:

“I was late for work because I lost my keys. I learned I need to put them in the same place every time I come home so that I can find them when I need them.”

Use this template for your own conversations with your kids. When your child makes a mistake, ask him or her, “What was your mistake?” Follow up by saying, “What did you learn?”

Conclusion

Create a household where mistakes are acceptable. Stress that everyone — adults and children — make mistakes and that no one is perfect. Mistakes are how we learn. Emphasize over and over: “Don’t worry about your mistakes. Instead, think about what you’ll do differently next time.”

If we help kids learn from them, mistakes can be valuable lessons. Once your children realize failures aren’t the end of the world, they’ll be more likely to hang in there and not give up.

 

How to Stop Overthinking Things

Why do we overthink things? Why do we second guess what we’ve said? downloadWhy do we re-play negative situations over and over in our heads? Could anxiety be to blame?

What we need to do is to learn to take things for face value and just move on, BUT some say that’s not so easy for women because our hormones may actually be the culprit. 

Now, everyone has anxiety, and don’t forget, anxiety is important.  It’s a natural reaction that our body has to a new situation. It serves as a basic survival function – like a warning system that alerts us whenever we perceive a dangerous experience, but sometimes our anxiety works overtime.

Researchers are investigating whether estrogen – the female hormone – could be to blame for this increased brain activity and negative responses in women because it actually controls learning and processes our mistakes. Also, Estrogen is thought to increase serotonin, which is a chemical in the brain that can boost mood. If Estrogen drops then serotonin does too, which can contribute to mood swings and depression.  Everything is intertwined.

Not to mention, hormonal changes have also been associated with anxiety. And with an increase in anxiety, we also see an increase in panic attacks (especially during PMS, post-childbirth, perimenopause, and menopause.) Therefore, when estrogen levels are low serotonin is low creating an unstable mood and then anxiety can develop.

However, there are some basic things you can do that will help your hormones stay regulated.  Such as practicing good eating habits, getting plenty of exercise and deep sleep. Also, limit alcohol, sleep in a cool room and don’t eat late at night.  All these issues can create a restless night. *It’s recommended that adults get 1.5 to 2 hours of deep sleep per night.   Remember, there’s no such thing as too much deep sleep.

Now with all this to consider, let’s get back to the main question… how do we stop overthinking? Here are 3 techniques that you can easily do.

1. Awareness

Awareness is the first step in putting an end to overthinking. Start paying attention to your thoughts. When you notice yourself replaying negative events in your mind over and over, or worrying about things you can’t control, acknowledge that your thoughts aren’t productive and release them (with your breath). It’s easy to get carried away with negative thoughts. Try to refocus on something positive to distract the negativity. Acknowledge when your thoughts may be a bit overly negative. Learn to recognize and replace this thinking before it goes too far.

2. Keep Your Focus On Problem-Solving

Dwelling on your problems isn’t helpful, but looking for tools, resources or solutions can be. Instead of asking why something happened, ask yourself what you can do about it. It keeps your thoughts in a positive mode and helps you feel like an active participant in fixing the issue.

3. Practice Mindfulness

Eventually, work your way up to mindfulness strategies such as positive coping skills and relaxation techniques. It’s impossible to rehash yesterday or worry about tomorrow when you’re living in the present. Commit to becoming more aware of the here and now. Mindfulness takes practice, like any other skill, but over time, it can decrease overthinking.

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