Megan is a 17 years old teen girl who sees her self-esteem as moderate to low. She was an obese child in grammar school and lost 40 pounds by eating healthy and swimming regularly. She was bullied and teased relentlessly because of the weight. That had a very damaging effect on her. She then swung the pendulum in the complete opposite direction and between eighth-grade and freshman year of high school she became anorexic. As an anorexic, she counted calories and every chew. To this day she needs someone to distract her when she’s eating or she will count the calories and not eat enough. She also suffers from depression, which was obvious to me from the start of the interview. I’d say Megan was the saddest girl I interviewed for this book. She smiled once during the whole interview, and that was when I asked her what made her happy. Her response to me was “food” with a dreamy smile on her face.She has an unhealthy love affair with food. Her family situation is far from ideal, like many girls her deal with eating disorders. She has no relationship with her father, literally. Her parents are still married, although it seems they shouldn’t be based on her story. They all live in the same house, which seems to act like a prison for her mother. It seems to be a very depressing environment. She said that she learned a long time ago that it’s not worth trying to please her dad because it’s impossible. For years she tried and only failed over and over again in her father’s eyes. She clearly identifies the eating disorder and depression as directly related to her father. Or rather, the lack of relationship with her father. She talked about how cruel kids can be and how she would never bully anyone because she knows what it feels like firsthand. She identifies and hangs out with a group of girls who “could be” considered bullies at her school. I’m assuming this is a strategy or defense so that she herself would never be bullied by them. She still struggles with her relationship with food and has very poor body image. When she looks in the mirror she still sees that obese child. She sees a therapist weekly and takes antidepressants. She still laments for the time when she was anorexic.
Tag Archives: self-esteem
Top Ten Stressors for the Average Teenage Girl
The top ten stressors for the average teenage girl come in many forms. Some may surprise you and some may not, but what they all have in common is a damaging effect on teen self-esteem.
Body Image— How she sees herself, how she compares herself to her friends, and the complications of eating disorders.
Boys/relationships–Wanting a boy or girl to like her, but not necessarily understanding how to go about it a healthy or positive way. Romanticizing the concept of a relationship.
Bullying— Wearing the scars from being bullied in middle school or junior high that never seem to fully go away. Worrying that she will be bullied again.
Friends— Wanting to be popular and having a group of friends, yet still worrying about being fully accepted by them. Fitting in and knowing how to conform, but wondering about individuality.
Gossip— Worrying about being judged by others, but at the same time judging them. Worrying about rumors that may or may not be true & people cutting you down.
Media Beauty Ideals— Scanning magazines and websites, teens take cues from what the media considers beautiful. This in turn causes self hate if they don’t meet those physical ideals set by society.
Parents— Expectations put upon them by their parents, having a poor relationship with one or both of their parents and/or being compared to a sibling.
Peer pressure — Wanting to be part of the group, but not wanting to drink, do drugs, shoplift or have unwanted sexual encounters to be accepted.
Perfectionism/self-image— Setting unrealistic expectations for themselves. Unsure of how others actually see them and of how they want to be seen in relation to school, culture and society. Always questioning who they are and striving to be “perfect.”
School— Getting good grades and getting into the college of her choice, wondering if she’s smart enough, and comparing her grades to her friends.
The Effects of Single Gender Versus Coeducational Environments on the Self-Esteem Development and Academic Competence of High School Females
The topic of coeducational versus single gender education has created much discussion and controversy through the years. When looking for environmental benefits for the growth of positive self-esteem development, there has not been a definitive answer to the coeducational versus single gender question. Is one academically superior over the other, when looking at self-esteem development? I recently published an Ebook based on my research in this area. It may be of interest to educators within the high school setting or for parents trying to decide between single gender and coeducational schools for their daughters.
Dr Carol 