The Psychology Behind Self-Esteem

When understanding self-esteem, we have to first look at the psychology behind this concept. For this to happen, we must dive into developmental theory, which helps us design a conceptual framework for self-esteem.

For me, Erik Erikson’s (1963) Theory of Psychosocial Development does just that. He chronicled eight phases of human life exploring how physical changes and environment were linked to the development of self and identity.  He proposed the following stages of psychosocial development as occurring during one’s lifespan.

(a) Trust versus Mistrust

(b) Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt

(c) Initiative versus Guilt

(d) Industry versus Inferiority

(e) Identity versus Role Confusion

(f) Intimacy versus Isolation

(g) Generativity versus Stagnation

(h) Wisdom versus Despair

When looking at self-esteem, we must look at  the 4th stage of psychosocial development, which Erikson referred to as Industry vs. Inferiority as well as his 5th stage of psychosocial development he termed Identity vs. Role Confusion.

So….stage 4 begins at around age six.  This is the point in their life where your children enter school and learn the appropriate norms within a classroom.  They seek out approval from their peers and well as their teachers.  At this stage, children seek success in the form of good grades, mastering classroom directions and obedience.  Girls usually flourish during this stage academically and often develop a strong sense of self. However, during the later years of stage 4, (about age twelve) is when things get complicated.  At this age, many girls begin puberty and they start to develop more sophisticated views of themselves and the opposite sex. A shift in the way they see themselves and how they relate to one another begins to occur. This leads up to the complexities of stage 5.

Gradually, around the age of thirteen children enter stage five of development. According to Erikson, this is the critical period of development where unfortunately self-esteem declines for most adolescents, especially girls. Your child is now knee-deep in puberty, positioned halfway between childhood and adulthood and confused by the changing way they look, feel and think.  At this point, they are primarily concerned with fitting in with their peers and so they start to move away from mom and dad, stretching their independence. They want to make their own decisions at home. They start questioning the world as well as themselves all the while trying to discover a true sense of self.  In order for healthy self-esteem to grow, it’s important that this independence be permitted (obviously, within reason) and the journey encouraged by mom and dad.

What is Self-Concept?

Mom and Dad,

This view differs from self-esteem, and relates to how your child sees herself in the context

of the world. When referring to self-concept, the question “Who am I?” is important.

The foundation of self-concept occurs in infancy with the strong relationship of mother and

child. The formation of age appropriate self-concept is necessary in planting the seeds

for self-esteem development.  Therefore, positive self-esteem is built upon accurate

and age appropriate self-concept.  So everyone once in a while encourage your child to ask herself,

“Who am I?”  It may be interesting to see what she says.

What is Self-Esteem?

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how much you like who you are and how much you accept and respect yourself. Healthy self-esteem can serve much like a shield of armor against the challenges of the world.  Self-esteem will change throughout your life, so the key to positive self-esteem is to stay confident in who you are and to surround yourself with good people.

What are some keys to positive self-esteem?

There is no magic formula, but a few surefire ways to feel good about yourself to start you in the right direction

1) Healthy diet- Eat lots of fruits and vegetables; they give you lots of vitamins and energy to keep you moving. So the next time you reach for those chips, grab the apple instead. Drink lots of water- really, it helps. Or… eat a tomato. They can improve your mood!

2) Exercise- If you keep moving, you keep the heart pumping and naturally produced brain chemicals called endorphins run through your body that make you feel good.

3) Positive friends- Hanging around with happy, positive people can make you positive and happy.  Laughing out loud is the easiest way to change your mood and has long lasting effects.  Good friends with positive self-esteem can always rub off on you.