Tag Archives: Eating disorder

The story of Cindy: As Perfect as Possible.

Posted in Self-Esteem by

Excerpt from Girl Talk: Boys, Bullies and Body Image 

The story of Cindy: As Perfect as Possible.

Like a year ago – I never really had anyone to talk to so I would bottle things up. That’s really unhealthy and I would explode and have really bad mood swings and really bad, um, depression. I’ve been struggling with depression for like eeeeever. Lately I had my worst depression – my WORST. I call it the “depression abyss.” I realized I really needed help from my parents. I think they knew I was sad sometimes, but not THAT depressed. I mean, I come off as really bubbly and positive when I’m just hanging out or having a conversation.

When I told my mom and dad, I was shaking. I didn’t know what their reaction would be. I was always scared to tell them because I thought they would send me to a mental hospital and get all crazy. But they didn’t. They were really supportive and so now I go to see a therapist every week (or more!). Biiiiig, big step.
What knocked me down enough to seek help? Um, well, I was actually dealing with an eating disorder and a drug issue. Now I’m being treated for both of them. Yeah, that was a HUGE step too! Oh my God, that was craaazy!

Even though I get depressed, I am like the fun party girl. I’m the one that’s like, “Heeeey everybody! Let’s go party today. I know this place.” Like I’m the girl pulling everyone else in. I’m not the one feeling peer pressure; I’m the one passing it around.

All that fun and partying got serious on New Year’s Eve though. I was dealing with bad family issues on top of everything else. I was in the middle mood-wise and then I just dropped. I overdosed. I don’t remember much. I was seizing and my eyes were rolling back. My friends were like, “OK, we’ll give you ‘til 5:30 am and if you don’t snap out of this then we’re going to the hospital,” and by 5:30 I was sleeping. Crazy, right?!

My drug of choice? Um…probably ecstasy. But I used to do like five different drugs at the same time. And I’m tiny. That’s another thing – I don’t like it when people assume the anorexia is because of my body. I’ve always been really skinny. I know I’m really skinny! The anorexia was definitely a control thing. It was like counting calories because I can control counting. It’s mathematical. Anorexia is so tangible. It’s right there………..

For more click here.

The Latest Teenage Obsession “Thigh Gap.”

Posted in Self-Esteem by

The Latest Teenage Obsession “Thigh Gap.”  How does it affect your self-esteem?

Most females can relate to the concept of looking at another woman and thinking; “I wish I looked more like her.”  Maybe it’s her smile, her wavy hair or even her full lips…… but her thigh gap? In the past year the growing trend of “thigh gap” propaganda on the internet has changed passing thoughts of admiration for someone else, to being dangerously pursued by teenage girls who are seduced by the belief that having the coveted thigh gap (inner thighs which do not touch) is the ultimate touchstone of beauty. Experts Blame The Media For Promoting This Trend Amongst Teenage Girls and I think they are right. Thigh gap?  Are you serious!  What’s next…ear lobe envy.

The increasing infatuation that teenage girls have with “thigh gaps” grows even more disturbing when you begin to investigate it further. Just a simple Google search, shows several top page results not only advising young girls on how they can achieve thigh gaps, but also promoting Pro-ana thigh gap culture. Only buried underneath a collection of Thinspiration and other pro-thigh gap tumblrs and blogs, you can find actual informative research articles that explain the dangers of this new body obsession and why it is physically unachievable for most people. Most experts say that this demonstrates a new low in self-esteem and body acceptance amongst young girls caused by the social pressures to achieve this ridiculous standard of beauty.

When you consider the negative health and psychological ramifications of pursuing “thigh gap” status, it is a lot darker than one would initially want to believe. Young girls are cheering each other on, in online forums to purse “thigh gap” status. Encouraging anorexia and bulimic behavior as well as self-harming, and suicidal tendencies if the thigh gap is not achieved. Again, for many females thigh gap is physically impossible at a healthy weight. We are not talking about changing ones hair color or personal style. This practice condones seriously damaging behavior.

We can’t let our younger generations of women be defeated by this kind of propaganda. There needs to be more action taken to inform young girls about self-esteem and body image AND less emphasis placed on promoting and literally “selling” beauty to the vulnerable and young.

As far as I am concerned, we have all become victims of our cultural obsession with being “perfect” (whatever that means.)  The “thigh gap” obsession is just one more expression of this that breeds peer pressure, anxiety and depression triggered by the bullying that coincides with the “Thigh Gap” pursuit culture that is found online.

Read More About Teenage Girls Shocking Obsession With Thigh Gap

Teens and Body Image- Why we Don’t Always Like What we see in the Mirror

Posted in Self-Esteem by

Body dysmorphic disorder is defined by the Mayo Clinic as a type of chronic mental illness where you can’t stop thinking about a flaw in your appearance — a flaw that is either minor or imagined. But to you, your appearance seems so shameful that you don’t want to be seen by anyone. So, let me say that again in teen language. You think some part of your body is so hideous that you need to hide it constantly, obsess about it, and stare at it all the time.

Don’t get me wrong, all teens are concerned with the way they look. That’s just part of being a teen. Now, don’t confuse being a “typical” teen with having body dysmorphia. When a teen struggles with body dysmorphia, s/he focuses in on one or two particular parts of their body and obsesses over that area specifically on a constant basis. Like, “My nose is so crooked, I can’t go out in public!” Or, “My feet are huge, I could never wear those shoes!”  Usually, in these cases your friends will not understand what you are talking about because they don’t see it.  This can cause you to feel even more alone because no one sees what you see when they look in the mirror.

I’ve encountered many teens who have shared with me stories of their own body dysmorphia. For example, some can rationally identify that their present weight isn’t considered clinically overweight; however, their brains still tell them that they are obese. Some will honestly look in the mirror and still see that young girl who was overweight, or had braces, bad acne or glasses (usually in 4th, 5th or sixth-grade.)

One factor that always seems to go along with body dysmorphia is name-calling or teasing.  You were probably sensitive to your weight, the braces or being taller than the rest of the class and a bullied honed in on that.  The experience was traumatizing and you were never able to let it go. Being so young, you wouldn’t have the tools to deal with those feelings and most kids don’t tell their parents either, which is a huge mistake. Parents can help you process the experience and give you advice or tools to deal with the teasing and to let it go. Unfortunately, many teens carry the painful scars from being teased into high school.  Although in present-day, they know that they are not overweight, those nicknames still stick in their heads. The trauma from being teased doesn’t just go away and when they look in the mirror they still see their overweight self from a painful time.

I’ve never agreed with the saying “sticks and stones may break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” I’ve seen the opposite. Damaging name-calling that carries over to the teenage years.  Names that teens can’t get out of their heads and hear over and over like a broken record.  Some start to believe the name-calling and see themselves in a negative light.  Many teens have told me, that although they’ve lost the weight and the name-calling was years ago, they are still waiting for it to happen again. They walk down the halls in high school feeling like a fraud.  Scared that those names will come back to haunt them because maybe they deserve it. To me, that’s much more painful than breaking a bone because when you break a bone, you set it and it heals. For some of these teens, since the scars aren’t visible, no one else sees the pain, and they didn’t know how to release it to heal.  One thing is clear, if they don’t deal with the root of the problem the pain will remain and they will continue to be challenged every time they look in the mirror.