Girl Talk

Posted in Girl Talk: Boys, Bullies and Body Image by

Seventy-five percent of teenage girls with self-esteem issues have reported engaging in negative activities such as smoking, drinking, bullying, cutting, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior, and even suicide attempts. It doesn’t have to be this way. It’s during the grammar school years that females perform equally well or even outperform males academically and at the same time, show signs of well-developed self-esteem. But, once a female enters puberty, her academic performance as well as over all self-esteem gradually declines in the high school setting. Through a series of interviews, my book will give teen girls the validation and understanding for why they feel the way they do. It will give them tools and resources to combat self-esteem issues and empower them to move forward. Through the RAISE (resilience, attitude, independence, self-respect, empowerment) system I have formulated, they will have the tools and resources to combat self-esteem issues and empower themselves to move forward. In addition, parents, teachers and counselors will gain more understanding and insight about the struggles of teenage girls by reading this book.

My book  offers a path to empowered self-esteem. This book will have a strong appeal among teen girls especially because they will be reading about what other teenage girls have to say. Peer to peer information is extremely powerful. This book will also cover background information on self-esteem, but will mainly focus on interviews with teens girls on the topic. We will dive into the factors which contribute to healthy self-esteem as well as those which affect low self-esteem and offer solutions.

Stay tuned……

The Beauty of Fourth Grade Before Peer Pressure Begins

Posted in Articles for Parents, General Health, Peer Pressure by

Why do I think fourth grade is beautiful? Because this is the place and time in a child‘s life when they are innocent enough to still try anything. They believe they can run faster than lightning.  They believe they are strong as an ox.  They are willing to take on most challenges and have no concept of failure.  They see themselves as invincible. Within that naïveté  there is simplicity that is pure and good. They still have dreams of being astronauts, doctors and firemen. They listen to their parents (for the most part) and believe mom and dad are the smartest people in the world.  But the best part about this age group is that they still firmly believe in themselves. They are confident and strong and they believe that they can be anything they want to be as long as they work hard because that’s what their teachers and parents have told them.  Fourth grade is the tipping point for confidence building that sticks.  Factors such as friends, teachers, and family all play a critical role at this point in a child’s life.  Just like the “School House Rock” song says; [age] 10 IS the magic number. After this age, peer pressure comes into play.  Some resist because of the confidence they built and tools they have gained from strong family, teachers and coaches, while others unfortunately fall victim.

Note: The ages of 7 to 13 are critical for positive growth and confidence building. These elementary school years are at the core for building self-confidence.  Age 7 is where we start to see children grapple with confidence, and parents need to pay close attention by  encouraging and reaffirming their child in most activities.  Age 10 is where things can either go very right or very wrong in your child’s development. 

The Subtle Faces of Peer Pressure

Posted in Peer Pressure by

Peer pressure can come in many forms.  Some are subtle and some overt.  I think sometimes teens don’t see the subtle forms because they are too caught up in fitting in, being popular or being liked.

Peer pressure and bullying can intersect a lot of the time. It  can be your friends subtly making fun of you, laughing, putting you down & then saying, “just kidding.”  Remember, at the core of every statement there is some truth. It can also be your friends saying, “you’re no fun” because you don’t want to do something that feels dangerous. You should be free and comfortable to make those choices for yourself.

Rule of thumb, if someone asks you or tells you to do something over and over that you’re not interested in doing,  that’s peer pressure. If your friends make you feel uncomfortable for not going along with the crowd, for wanting to do something different, for trying something different….. that’s peer pressure. If your boyfriend tells you that you don’t care about him because you’re not interested or willing to do something for him or with him…. that’s peer pressure. If he withholds affection like a hug or smile because you don’t want to go somewhere with him….. that’s peer pressure. Any situation in which you are feeling uncomfortable, getting nervous or knots are forming in your stomach, that’s your body ‘s way of telling you something is wrong. Trust your instincts. We should never be forced into doing anything that makes us uncomfortable.  I wish I could say to all teens that peer pressure is only something that happens when you’re young, but unfortunately it’s not. Peer pressure can occur in adulthood as well; however, the way we handle those situations will tell people  how we demand to be treated. Respect yourself and other will respect you too. Those who don’t aren’t worth knowing.

Healthy relationships never require people to prove themselves in ways that are unsafe or uncomfortable. Healthy relationships fill us with comfort and ease. They make us feel safe and accept us for who we are. That is the sign of a true friend.