The Duck Syndrome (Anxiety and Perfectionism Among Young Women)

Recently, I learned about the duck syndrome from a friend of mine at Stanford University. The duck syndrome is apparently running rampant at many colleges (and from my research) at many high schools as well. What is the duck syndrome? Well, think of the duck gliding along the water. She looks very serene, calm and pleasant. Then, look under the water and s/he is paddling frantically. That is the duck syndrome. Too many students on the outside are appearing calm, cool and collected while on the inside they are completely stressed out.  As women, we want to see ourselves being able to have it all.  To be the great student, great athlete, and well-liked by her peers, which typically means being social. But what price do we pay?  Proving we can do it all has transformed into an ugly state of unattainable expectations and extremes, which are unhealthy for any girl at any age. This is a recipe for disaster that really goes against what feminism truly stands for.

I believe high school is where this syndrome starts to formulate. Many of the girls that suffer from the duck syndrome in college were probably “big fish in small pond” at their high school. Most teens want to be popular, and to be popular these days means that you can do it all. I see high school students staying up ridiculously late doing homework, always wanting the A, playing on one if not two sports teams, and also expecting to go out every weekend. All this can lead to anxiety, depression, and unhealthy habits. When they get to college, which could have 12 to 20,000 students, being big fish is not so easy anymore so the stakes get higher.  During college, the classes (typically) are more difficult with more homework, papers and tests. If they see their peers staying out late and still getting good grades, they feel the peer pressure to attain the same and compete among the top percent,  to be popular, to be perfect. This means more competition and pressure for top grades with less sleep.  We need to teach our teens that setting limits for themselves never means failure, but in fact it means a healthy and happy life with realistic and attainable goals. Paddling frantically is literally for the birds.

My Journey Writing a Book Called “Girl Talk.”

Hi Everyone, This section of the blog will be dedicated to the progress I make on my book “Girl Talk.” It may at times read like a “Dear Diary” as I share with you all some of the highlights from my interviews with the teen girls I meet and share with you some of their thoughts and feelings as they relate to self-esteem. I am so fortunate to be working with many high schools and teens in San Francisco on my research for this book. Every school culture is different. So as you can imagine, so are the thoughts and feelings of the girls that I interview. I hope for this book to be about their journey through high school and many of the obstacles, and in some cases difficult challenges that they face as teens.

Sexual Harassment at Schools | AAUW

The American Association of University Women is one of those great organizations dedicated to helping women. They offer annual reports on research that they have conducted, they post insightful  articles, offer scholarship and fellowship funding for young women to attend college and just all around serve as a very credible source of information for women today. Having worked on college campuses for the past 16 years, they were always a source of information for me. Their most recent report is about sexual harassment on high school campuses. Prior to reading the report, I had no idea how prevalent sexual harassment was among high schoolers.  In addition, the report break down the differences between bullying and sexual harassment so that we have a clear understanding of the two and how they differ.  Harassment occurs in all forms; boys harassing girls, boys harassing boys, as well as girls harassing girls. The AAUW also describes  in this report the different forms of harassment that occur today among our youth in detail with proven statistics.  I highly encourage educators of middle school and high school students to read the report.  The more informed we are, the better prepared we become to handle these situations and take care of our youth.

Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at Schools | AAUW.