The American Association of University Women is one of those great organizations dedicated to helping women. They offer annual reports on research that they have conducted, they post insightful articles, offer scholarship and fellowship funding for young women to attend college and just all around serve as a very credible source of information for women today. Having worked on college campuses for the past 16 years, they were always a source of information for me. Their most recent report is about sexual harassment on high school campuses. Prior to reading the report, I had no idea how prevalent sexual harassment was among high schoolers. In addition, the report break down the differences between bullying and sexual harassment so that we have a clear understanding of the two and how they differ. Harassment occurs in all forms; boys harassing girls, boys harassing boys, as well as girls harassing girls. The AAUW also describes in this report the different forms of harassment that occur today among our youth in detail with proven statistics. I highly encourage educators of middle school and high school students to read the report. The more informed we are, the better prepared we become to handle these situations and take care of our youth.
Tag Archives: teenager problems
The Psychology Behind Self-Esteem
When understanding self-esteem, we have to first look at the psychology behind this concept. For this to happen, we must dive into developmental theory, which helps us design a conceptual framework for self-esteem.
For me, Erik Erikson’s (1963) Theory of Psychosocial Development does just that. He chronicled eight phases of human life exploring how physical changes and environment are linked to the development of self and identity. He proposed the following stages of psychosocial development as occurring during one’s lifespan.
(a) Trust versus Mistrust
(b) Autonomy versus Shame and Doubt
(c) Initiative versus Guilt
(d) Industry versus Inferiority
(e) Identity versus Role Confusion
(f) Intimacy versus Isolation
(g) Generativity versus Stagnation
(h) Wisdom versus Despair
When looking at self-esteem, we must look at the 4th stage of psychosocial development, which Erikson referred to as Industry vs. Inferiority as well as his 5th stage of psychosocial development he termed Identity vs. Role Confusion.
So….stage 4 begins at around age six. This is the point in their life where your children enter school and learn the appropriate norms within a classroom. They seek out approval from their peers and well as their teachers. At this stage, children seek success in the form of good grades, mastering classroom directions and obedience. Girls usually flourish during this stage academically and often develop a strong sense of self. However, during the later years of stage 4, (about age twelve) is when things get complicated. At this age, many girls begin puberty and they start to develop more sophisticated views of themselves and the opposite sex. A shift in the way they see themselves and how they relate to one another begins to occur. This leads up to the complexities of stage 5.
Gradually, around the age of thirteen children enter stage five of development. According to Erikson, this is the critical period of development where unfortunately self-esteem declines for most adolescents, especially girls. Your child is now knee-deep in puberty, positioned halfway between childhood and adulthood and confused by the changing way they look, feel and think. At this point, they are primarily concerned with fitting in with their peers and so they start to move away from mom and dad, stretching their independence. They want to make their own decisions at home. They start questioning the world as well as themselves all the while trying to discover a true sense of self. In order for healthy self-esteem to grow, it’s important that this independence be permitted (obviously, within reason) and the journey encouraged by mom and dad.
Prevent Child Sexual Assault—be part of the solution
I learned this past weekend that a victim of child sexual assault has to tell at least 7 adults before he/she is believed. Why? Because people can’t process the message and don’t want to believe. A healthy brain isn’t wired to think in these terms especially in relation to a child. An adult will attempt to reinterpret what the child is saying in a way that makes it less damaging/threatening for them to process. The child very quickly sees that the adult just doesn’t get it and moves on until he/she encounters another adult they feel safe enough with to tell. This was both shocking and terrifying for me to learn. As adults, please don’t be the problem, be part of the solution. If a child tries to engage you in a conversation that you can tell they are both physically and emotionally struggling through, please stop and listen.
It seems that predators target kids with lower-self esteem the most and prey on those who lack strong identity and/or have a weaker social network. Most disturbing for me was to learn that these predators can actually walk into a chat room, play ground, mall, etc., and can target these kids instantly, almost like radar. We must protect.
Teach your kids to be aware of adult strangers that seem too interested in them too soon.
Dr. Michele Borba’s Reality Check is a great blog that provides tips, warning signs and workshops for parents and kids.
Dr Carol 