Tag Archives: school bulying

Tips and Tricks for Teens on Managing Peer Pressure

Posted in Peer Pressure, Self-Esteem, Tip of the Week by

thOk teens…

In high school, there can be a decent amount of pressure to attend parties and sometimes drink or do drugs. Yes, you can certainly say no to attending the party and avoid the whole thing; however, in some cases you then become the topic of conversation, not at the party, but on Monday at school. That’s no fun.  Not to mention that you want to hang out with your friends and be social, but don’t want to feel the pressure from others.  Be proactive! I suggest coming up with a shortlist of responses that you can use when faced with peer pressure, so you aren’t ostracized for doing the right thing. Here, I started the list for you with a few and when stated confidently and honestly, will be respected by your peers.  Trust me!

(These are related to the example of drinking at a party, but can also be applied to when being pressured to do drugs as well.)

  1. I can’t drink, I’m on medication/antibiotics.
  2. I can’t drink, I’m the designated driver.
  3. I can’t drink, I have practice in the morning (or a big game.)
  4. I can’t drink, I have to work in the morning and really need the money.

What would you add to the list?

How to Tell Your Parents When you are Being Bullied

Posted in Self-Esteem by

Let me start off by saying…….you should tell your parents every time and any time you feel you are the victim of bullying. Just because you can “handle” the bullying, doesn’t mean you should.  I know it may seem scary, but tell an adult. If not a parent, then a teacher or adult relative you trust.

So….How do you bring it up? Sometimes that can be the hardest part. Find a time when you have your parents’ full attention. Maybe this is while you are driving alone in the car with them, eating dinner, or taking a long walk with your mom or dad. Think about what to say beforehand so when you tell them you won’t get too nervous and forget everything. If you aren’t sure how to start the conversation, say, “I need to tell you something that I’m nervous about.” I guarantee your parents will pay complete attention. It’s OK if you get upset while telling them. If you want to tell a teacher instead, that’s OK too. Maybe after school when the rest of your class is gone you can ask to speak with them. Again, practice what you want to say.  If it helps to bring a friend along for support, that’s OK too.

I can’t stress this enough. Not wanting to worry or burden your parents by keeping something like this inside doesn’t make you stronger or resilient. Being resilient isn’t about avoiding an issue and adapting to it. Resilience is standing up for yourself, protecting yourself, and demanding that the bullying stops. Don’t built a defense mechanism around the issue to avoid it or pretend that it isn’t actually happening.  Say something early on. If you wait, you may just get used to the bullying and “accept” it. That’s not a healthy way to cope!

 

Who Wants to Talk About Snapchat?

Posted in Articles for Parents, Self-Esteem by

Okay… Who wants to talk about Snapchat? I’ve received quite a few questions about Snapshot lately, so I thought I’d take the time and address them. So what is Snapchat?

Snapchat  is an app that allows you to “snap” a photo and posted it to text. The selling point of the app is that the photo disappears after 10 seconds. It’s a visual chat– a kind of “freeze framing” a specific moment in time. It’s all about spontaneity and no impulse control. Just what kids need more of–right? 

The app creates the illusion that the information you send will be secretive and then disappear forever. This is certainly attractive to young kids, who are tempted to send things that are a bit risqué. They feel a false sense of safety in doing so, since their content will magically disappear. Right? Wrong….like everything else on the internet, it doesn’t disappear. The receiver of the information can easily take a screenshot of what was sent, hold on to it and then share with whomever they choose.  This app is also becoming a big tool for cyber bullies because they can send and hide behind a mean message/photo and then “poof” it’s gone. Leaving the receiver in a state of shock. Numb and upset by what they just saw. It’s damaging, hurtful and can negatively affect ones’ self-esteem and sense of self -worth.

As an adult, I can somewhat see the value in a tool like this. However, I don’t think I’ve ever texted something that needed to self destruct in 10 seconds like I’m a character from Mission Impossible.  However, I CAN see this as a smart marketing tool for businesses sharing information about last minute sales with values customers, pop-up events or secret coupon codes.  It can certainly build brand loyalty. But, let’s be honest; teens are the ones mostly using this tool.

Personally, I think there should be stricter requirements attached to opening Snapchat accounts. The only requirement is that you must be 13 years old.  That’s still too young. I think it’s more dangerous than kids are realizing. Encouraging impulsive actions that can have a lifetime of repercussions sounds like a recipe for disaster. As a parent, you need to check out the app and decide for yourself. Here is a good video about Snapchat to help you get started.