Breathing Properly to Release Stress & Anxiety

Tip of the week:

Obviously, we all know how to breathe, but are we doing it right? When we get stressed we tend to breathe very shallow. Small short breaths that really aren’t doing our brain and heart any good. Instead, when we feel stressed we should be doing just the opposite. So before your next class presentation, debate or exam— think about your breathing. There is a very simple formula that everyone can do.

Sit straight with both feet flat on the floor. Close your eyes and breathe in through your nose for the count of 4 (literally count in your head 1234) then release the air through your mouth for the count of 8. Repeat 3 to 5 times, open your eyes and surprisingly you’ll feel more calm and ready for the task ahead. If the anxiety continues, you can repeat these breathing exercises during the debate, exam or task at hand. If you can’t close your eyes that’s okay. Still, breathe in for 4 through your nose and out your mouth for 8.  It works every time.

The Duck Syndrome (Anxiety and Perfectionism Among Young Women)

Recently, I learned about the duck syndrome from a friend of mine at Stanford University. The duck syndrome is apparently running rampant at many colleges (and from my research) at many high schools as well. What is the duck syndrome? Well, think of the duck gliding along the water. She looks very serene, calm and pleasant. Then, look under the water and s/he is paddling frantically. That is the duck syndrome. Too many students on the outside are appearing calm, cool and collected while on the inside they are completely stressed out.  As women, we want to see ourselves being able to have it all.  To be the great student, great athlete, and well-liked by her peers, which typically means being social. But what price do we pay?  Proving we can do it all has transformed into an ugly state of unattainable expectations and extremes, which are unhealthy for any girl at any age. This is a recipe for disaster that really goes against what feminism truly stands for.

I believe high school is where this syndrome starts to formulate. Many of the girls that suffer from the duck syndrome in college were probably “big fish in small pond” at their high school. Most teens want to be popular, and to be popular these days means that you can do it all. I see high school students staying up ridiculously late doing homework, always wanting the A, playing on one if not two sports teams, and also expecting to go out every weekend. All this can lead to anxiety, depression, and unhealthy habits. When they get to college, which could have 12 to 20,000 students, being big fish is not so easy anymore so the stakes get higher.  During college, the classes (typically) are more difficult with more homework, papers and tests. If they see their peers staying out late and still getting good grades, they feel the peer pressure to attain the same and compete among the top percent,  to be popular, to be perfect. This means more competition and pressure for top grades with less sleep.  We need to teach our teens that setting limits for themselves never means failure, but in fact it means a healthy and happy life with realistic and attainable goals. Paddling frantically is literally for the birds.

My Journey Writing a Book Called “Girl Talk.”

Hi Everyone, This section of the blog will be dedicated to the progress I make on my book “Girl Talk.” It may at times read like a “Dear Diary” as I share with you all some of the highlights from my interviews with the teen girls I meet and share with you some of their thoughts and feelings as they relate to self-esteem. I am so fortunate to be working with many high schools and teens in San Francisco on my research for this book. Every school culture is different. So as you can imagine, so are the thoughts and feelings of the girls that I interview. I hope for this book to be about their journey through high school and many of the obstacles, and in some cases difficult challenges that they face as teens.