Category Archives: General Health

A Lesson in Teen Sexting

Posted in Articles for Parents, General Health by

I learned a lot about teens and sexting over the past few months. However, I would say that not all teens are sexting. It seems more like 50-50. Some teens that I speak with aren’t even quite sure what it is while others can share with me multiple stories about people they know where sexting experiences have gone wrong. There seems to be a range of acceptance within the sexting world.  Many of the girls that I speak with will send sexy messages to their boyfriends, but many draw the line at sending naked photos.

Just to bring everyone up to speed, sexting is when a girl or boy sends a sexual message or photo to another girl or boy. Many of the teens that do sext are very smart about it. They have rules. You don’t sext and post over the Internet ( i.e. Facebook.) They only sext via text because, in their words “that can easily be deleted.” When we hear stories of sexting in the news, it’s usually because of 1 of 2 scenarios have occurred.

1) A girl has sent a photo to a boy that she likes. Keep in mind that he may have requested the photo. That particular boy has a girlfriend. The girlfriend intercepts the photo from his phone, is angry that another girl has sent him a photo and shares the photo with others over the Internet basically as revenge.

2) A boy requests a photo from a girl. Sometimes he’ll send a photo of himself shirtless to the girl first and then requests a photo back. The boy has no real interest in the girl, he just wants the photo. The girl, if she likes him, is usually flattered and unsure what to do next. Bad judgment comes into play as well as peer pressure, so she sends a photo of herself back to him. This could be anything from shirtless, to completely topless, to completely nude. The boy then shares the photo with his friends (male and female) and before you know it, the photo has gone viral.

From the teen perspective, most sexting stays private. They see it as harmless. I’ve heard stories of girls transferring to another school after an embarrassing sexting experience, and yet teens still think it’s ok to send photos of themselves. With this younger generation, it seems that the line between public and private has become completely blurred. This is where I see technology as a very dangerous tool, if not understood and used properly.

Here are a few sexting codes that teens are using today.

KPC= Keeping Parents Clueless

#8= Oral Sex

TDTM= Talk Dirty to Me

GNOC=  Get Naked on Cam

The Effects of Single Gender Versus Coeducational Environments on the Self-Esteem Development and Academic Competence of High School Females

Posted in General Health by

The topic of coeducational versus single gender education has created much discussion and controversy through the years. When looking for environmental benefits for the growth of positive self-esteem development, there has not been a definitive answer to the coeducational versus single gender question. Is one academically superior over the other, when looking at self-esteem development?  I recently published an Ebook based on my research in this area.  It may be of interest to educators within the high school setting or for parents trying to decide between single gender and coeducational schools for their daughters.

http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/122845

5 Tips For Parents on Talking to Your Teen

Posted in General Health, Tip of the Week by

Parents typically ask me to tell them what they should do (or could do) better in regards to strengthening their relationship/communication with their teen. So, I thought I’d pull together the top 5 things that teens mention about their communication or lack of communication with their parents that actually bothers them.

Parents,

1) Take the time to “listen” to your teen.  Many teens tell me that they don’t tell their parents certain things (bigger issues) because they will literally not remember. This can be crushing for a teen and once it happens, they will not open up and make that same mistake again.  Parents please be engaged. Look at your teen when they are talking to you and show that you are interested in what they have to say.

2) Know your teen’s friends. This is critical. Some of your teen’s friends are good influences and some are bad. Meet them all and know who your teen is spending time with after school and on weekends.  At the very least, meet the parents and have a cordial relationship with them if you aren’t already acquaintances. That way looking out for your teens becomes a shared effort.

3) Talk to your child during other times, not just during dinner.  Many of the teens I speak with say that dinner is basically the time their parents engage with them. Teens aren’t stupid. They can feel when the questions seem forced or even rushed because you still have a million things to do later.  They aren’t telling you anything of significance over dinner– trust me.

4) There is more to talk about than just school. Almost ever teen tells me that their parents always ask about school or the generic “How was your day?” question.  Parents, don’t play it safe all the time. Ask specific questions about their friends, pressures, stress, boys, anxiety. Teens are perceptive. They can tell when you really don’t want to hear the tough answers so they give you the “everything is fine” routine.  Don’t buy it.

5) Sometimes when your teen doesn’t want to talk…. they just don’t feel like talking.  Remember what is was like being 16? It doesn’t necessarily mean that anything is wrong.  The more you push, the most they will retreat. Give it a few days and see if the withdrawing still occurs. If it does then press the issue, but not at the dinner table.