Top Ten Stressors for the Average Teenage Girl

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The top ten stressors for the average teenage girl come in many forms. Some may surprise you and some may not, but what they all have in common is a damaging effect on teen self-esteem.

Body Image– How she sees herself, how she compares herself to her friends, and the complications of eating disorders.

Boys/relationships–Wanting a boy or girl to like her, but not necessarily understanding how to go about it a healthy or positive way. Romanticizing the concept of a relationship.

Bullying– Wearing the scars from being bullied in middle school or junior high that never seem to fully go away. Worrying that she will be bullied again.

Friends– Wanting to be popular and having a group of friends, yet still worrying about being fully accepted by them.  Fitting in and knowing how to conform, but wondering about individuality.

Gossip– Worrying about being judged by others, but at the same time judging them. Worrying about rumors that may or may not be true & people cutting you down.

Media Beauty Ideals– Scanning magazines and websites, teens take cues from what the media considers beautiful. This in turn causes self hate if they don’t meet those physical ideals set by society.

Parents– Expectations put upon them by their parents, having a poor relationship with one or both of their parents and/or being compared to a sibling.

Peer pressure — Wanting to be part of the group, but not wanting to drink, do drugs, shoplift or have unwanted sexual encounters to be accepted.

Perfectionism/self-image– Setting unrealistic expectations for themselves. Unsure of how others actually see them and of  how they want to be seen in relation to school, culture and society. Always questioning who they are and striving  to be “perfect.”

School– Getting good grades and getting into the college of her choice, wondering if she’s smart enough, and comparing her grades to her friends.

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The 8th Deadly Sin, Peer Pressure

A few weeks back I saw a tweet posted by a teen and it said “the 8th deadly sin, peer pressure.”  I was intrigued by the concept so I hit “reply” and asked him if I could write a blog on the topic of peer pressure today as a deadly sin. He agreed.

We all know the story from the Bible, which created a classification of vices told to early Christians as a way to educate them about  sin.  The 7 deadly sins are: lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride. However, nowhere in the story does it mention peer pressure of any kind. Or others forcing their opinions or actions on you in a negative and detrimental manner.  The vices are all related to excessive internal wants or desires, but why doesn’t peer pressure make the list?  It’s just as damaging and can lead to very destructive behaviors. Daily, I talk with teens where peer pressure is the number 1 issue they want to discuss.  In their words “it’s everywhere” and it seems to occur constantly.  I can honestly say that I have never had a conversation with a teen who was concerned about wrath, but peer pressure–yes!  Peer pressure is so ugly and harmful to our well-being. I’m sometimes concerned that if we hear the word “peer pressure” too often in the news or media that we will become desensitized to its meaning and impact.  Trust me, peer pressure is alive and well and can be just as deadly.

Sexual Harassment at Schools | AAUW

The American Association of University Women is one of those great organizations dedicated to helping women. They offer annual reports on research that they have conducted, they post insightful  articles, offer scholarship and fellowship funding for young women to attend college and just all around serve as a very credible source of information for women today. Having worked on college campuses for the past 16 years, they were always a source of information for me. Their most recent report is about sexual harassment on high school campuses. Prior to reading the report, I had no idea how prevalent sexual harassment was among high schoolers.  In addition, the report break down the differences between bullying and sexual harassment so that we have a clear understanding of the two and how they differ.  Harassment occurs in all forms; boys harassing girls, boys harassing boys, as well as girls harassing girls. The AAUW also describes  in this report the different forms of harassment that occur today among our youth in detail with proven statistics.  I highly encourage educators of middle school and high school students to read the report.  The more informed we are, the better prepared we become to handle these situations and take care of our youth.

Crossing the Line: Sexual Harassment at Schools | AAUW.

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